Did You Ever Wonder....

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address,
 you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, 
and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

How come we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

How come sheep don't shrink when it rains but a 
wool sweater does when you wash it? 

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If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

If the funeral procession is at night, do you drive with your lights off?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, 'Quit while you're ahead?'

Is it possible to be totally partial?

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?